Friday, April 1, 2011

Mystery Files - Doom Skulls and Wolfoids

This is alot less of a mystery than my earlier posts, but on the other hand it was way more of a wtf-moment. I've been reading about how awesome the new quest chains in Silverpine Forest and Hillsbrad Foothills are, and so I decided I would have to check them out myself. Me and Love had started fresh little alts to do some lowbie instancing, and eventhough I quickly outleveled those zones, I wanted to quest them through. If you haven't done it, I couldn't recommend it more. The quests are fun, well designed and I find myself actually wanting to do the quest for no other reason than to find out what happens next. I haven't felt that way about questing since I started playing the game. Since I've outleveled the zones I get no exp for the mobs, barely any exp for the quests and the quest rewards are obsolete. Yet I return just for the fun of it - me, who hates doing questing with no added gain. Well I am trailing off topic here, and I don't want to spoil it too much. If you have done the quests you know what I mean. And if you have done the quests, you will also recognize the below "mysteries" or rather "wth-mobs". If you really don't want to know anything about the quest lines and want to be surprised like me, you shouldn't read further, but I promise you that I'll write nothing to spoil the actual lore or turn of events in the quest chains. Maybe this could be the motivation you need to realize that these quests deserve a play through at least once.
I made a little page break so that you don't accidentally see anything you wouldn't want to see. Click if you dare! Not sure if this works in all readers though...

During one quest you get to meet a bunch of mobs called Ambermill Witchaloks. And boy did they give me a surprise. They're not special to the quest chains, lore or events of the zone, but they do pose as an excellent example of Blizzard sometimes rather twisted humour.

I was fighting these mobs like I would just any mob, basically just rushing in and one shotting them with Shield Slam. Imagine my shock when this huge elite doom skull started circling around me, I thought I had perhaps found some badass rare elite that would whoop my ass. I immediately got ready to fight the fight of a lifetime. But the funny thing is, none of these badass spells do anything. The skull will just circle you a couple of times, and the adorable little Wolfoids will just run around like chickens (mm, chicken...). The dialogue the Witchalok yells at you when casting the spells is just hilarious. You can see it in the lower of the two pictures above, but I'll put it here as well;
"- Cower, monster, as I summon a veritable army of Wolfoids!
- Now you are surrounded by Wolfoids! What can you do? Where can you run?
- Tremble in fear as I call forth the mighty Doomskull!

- Behold the sheer size of it! Are you not afraid, mortal? Have you ever witnessed doom of this magnitude?"
So what are these Witchaloks all about? They're clearly just meant to be a funny npc in the middle of everything. That means it must be a reference to something, or else some Blizz designer suddenly went nutters. Indeed it seems to be a reference, but it's not entirely easy to figure out what, who and when about it. Apparently it's a reference to the book "Song of the Sorcelator" which in turn is a reference to the book "Elemenstor Saga" written by Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade. It's all part of a series where Tycho finds Song of the Sorcelator, which apparently is a horrible plagiary on Holkins book Elemenstor Saga. As wikipedia explains it;
"Cruel, conceited and egotistical author of the Song of the Sorcelator who Tycho believes has plagiarized his fantasy fiction work "Elemenstor Saga" and butchered Tycho's eloquent prose in the process. When Gabe expresses interest in the rival author's penmanship, Tycho declares it trash and flings it to the waste basket. Gabe then secretly begins to read the forbidden book in the attic under a blanket and becomes a fan to the point of taking a bullet for Franzibald at Readiation 2006.
Tycho's hatred for Franzibald prompts him to make a post on his blog about him, believing it to be harmful enough, although Franzibald remains ignorant and uncaring as he is shown piloting a gold jetski in "Lake Franzibald" (entirely made of money) in the company of a beautiful woman. Tycho also accidentally reveals that he has vandalized a Wikipedia article changing every instance of his name to "L.H. Fagzibald." He is a parody of Tim Buckley, the creator of Ctrl+Alt+Del, which shares the basic premise as Penny Arcade. However, no real-life grudge against Buckley should be assumed."
Either way it may be, those npcs sure brightened up my day.


  1. Oh, man - yet another reason to level a horde character! I just finished the Alliance quests involving Fiona and her caravan in EPL, and enjoyed that immensely. I think the questing in Cataclysm is definitely improved in a lot of ways - but the story-telling aspect has really made running through "old" zones a whole lot more interesting for me.

  2. I laughed my ass off when I did that area. You don't sound like you're familiar with the original material! Here's a link to the first (of 6) comics about the Witchaloks and the Wolfoids. It's absurd and such a great parody of fantasy fiction.

    Also! The PA guys did some work with Dungeons & Dragons, and as a joke, D&D actually released a special class option for players: The Witchalok. Their abilities were utterly ridiculous, as was appropriate. :D